Testing

(If at any point this post gets too long... I made a summary at the bottom. Just for your convenience <3)>

So I had an epiphany the other day.
First, story for you.

I was giving out a test to my kids. It wasn't a big deal. I just needed to know what they already knew and what I needed to teach. I passed out the tests and one of my kids started having a stress out. I really thought he might cry. I tried to calm him down...

"buddy, this is going to be ok. I just need you to try your best and it will just tell me what we still need to work on."
"What if I don't know the answer?"
"Then we can work on it together and figure it out. It will be ok, I promise"

We took the test. He may or may not have failed...

This is the thing. I love him more for it. I get to spend a little extra time with him and we'll figure it out and I'll be pushed to be a better teacher because I will figure out a different way to explain a concept that seems simple enough to me. He'll figure it out. I know he will. It may take time, but we have time. It's only October.

Ephiphany.
Maybe I'm this kid sometimes. I'm not saying that I'm going through this hard test or I'm depressed or anything. I'm actually loving my life a lot right now. But it's a universal concept I think. Tests come along. I can imagine Heavenly Father looking down at all of us-his little class of struggling students- and just saying "it's going to be ok. Just try your best and it will just tell me what we need to work on. If you don't do well we'll work together and figure it out." We might cry a little. We might stress out. The fact of the matter is though, that we have time to figure it out and we'll try to see another side of the same concept and we'll spend a little time on our knees, working out things we don't understand with our Heavenly Father.

This is my favorite part. Like I said, as a teacher, you really grow closest to the kids who you know are having a hard time with a concept. You think about them all the time and how to reach them how they need to learn. Then, you just love them that much more. And I think that's a hard thing for me to grasp as the other party. I think that if I don't get something done exactly right that people might get mad or upset... like my facilitator at school when my class is noisy in the halls, or my bishop when relief society doesn't have a piano player or two people to pray before the moment of... but ya know, I think it's probably a lot like teaching. These people know I'm trying. My Heavenly Father knows I'm trying. They all love me a lot. And the thing is, I might fail. It's a possibility. But because I'm trying, they love me more. Just like I love my students that much more.

Ya know, it makes me excited to be a mom one day. I bet they have these epiphanies with their kids all the time. I mean, my kids right now are really not even mine if we're being honest... haha and I just love them so much.

Summary if this was waaay too long of a post to read the whole thing:
I love being a teacher.
I love epiphanies.
I love my life.
And I love figuring out truths that make life o so happy
<3>